Winning versus Losing

A few weeks ago I had a frustrating experience during my Sim Race on XBox Live. Last week I had a complete opposite experience and after thinking about the two I realized something. First, here's the exciting details about my fake racing...well, it's simulated but I take it so seriously.

Two weeks ago I had a decent race going. I ran third all night, and I wasn't expecting to finish any worse or any better. It was on the very last lap of a clean race that I turned into a corner just at the wrong time so my car hit a vicious bump that turned me up on two wheels before sending me tires over roof rolling to a deadly stop. Imagine a really bouncy rubber ball just hitting the edge of a curb and launching at top speed away from you, it's not coming back. This destroyed my car and I could barely limp around the track to finish in dead last.

I was so mad, I wanted to scream but my neighbors might have called the cops. I had laundry going at the other end of my apartment complex so I took a walk to cool off. I had many feelings, I was embarrassed but I was also mad at myself for losing focus. I also struggled to understand why I give such a trivial game so much of my time and energy. Still, I couldn't shake the awful feeling of shame and frustration for several days.

I had two options for the next race: I could spend the week angry with myself or I could focus harder. My best track was coming up next, so I chose to focus more. I practiced a lot all week, so once again I was invested in the race results. If I crashed again it would be so ridiculous I might never race again. There was a lot of pressure I put on myself, but in the end it proved beneficial.

Not only did I win the pole (I started first place), but I took a commanding lead the entire race, so I only had to drive as fast as I wanted to. The main competitor in my series is very good and has won every other race this season, except two. That night, I beat him soundly. He made two mistakes that cost him the race, and I had a flawless race.

I was happy and my team owner was pleased, but it also felt inconsequential. I wanted to brag and boast, but who cares what happens in some video game match besides the people involved? Sure I still think it was an accomplishment, with all the thoughts and feelings from the previous race weighing in, but in the end I think I spent more time in the place of frustration and dissappointment versus my successful follow up. I just didn't have a similar reaction.

This could apply to non-simulated situations as well. Think about a hefty bill and how that feels, versus an awesome discount or a rebate. Maybe I feel entitled, so my reaction to a freebie is more like "It's about time I got my break!" when maybe there are breaks every day. Perhaps the amount of time spent brooding over a have not or a failure overshadows the true wealth we normally have.

Ultimately my victory last week squashes the tumble I took before it, so perhaps next time something goes horribly wrong I won't feel so bad if there is still the possibility for sweet retribution. When that isn't a possibility, I better tread carefully!