Petey Vanilla Bean Scone

Tonight I had a woman at work who ordered this: "a petey vanilla or whatever that thing is". She had to stick her finger on the glass to point it out to me. She seemed like a nice lady, just a nice lady who needs to get out more, maybe read some books. The word was "petite", by the way.

I get this a lot. If you look at the word mocha, do you read it as "mosha" or do you understand the hard "k" sound? The worst drink to understand is the "caramel machiato" and there are several ways to mispronounce this. I could list them but I'll leave it for your imagination!

Close to the menacing machiato is the Vivanno smoothies. For some odd reason most everybody calls it a "Viv-i-anno" adding that "i" from nowhere. It sounds like the name "Vivian". To the credit of the public, our menus tend to have very small print and I don't understand why they have to be so tiny. People have to extend their neck like E.T. over the counter in an attempt to read the mysterious words behind my head.

For the record, many people don't know what language we use for the drinks. Most will guess incorrectly that it's French up there, but other than the "petite" vanilla scone (which doesn't have a place on the menu, it's written on a card in the pastry case) I can't think of many French words in use. The language is Italian, in fact a barista is the person who "tends the bar" even though we aren't serving alcohol, and there's no bar.

This is what goes through my mind whenever another person struggles with the language, I just don't earn enough and have enough time to spare to explain to every person the correct way. However, if someone is curious enough to ask me I gladly explain.

Just for fun, my old boss had a few nicknames for some popular drinks. Out of spite they were the "Icky Chippy Chip" (aka double chocolatey chip) and the "Miley" (vanilla bean, I guess because she is so white?). A typo appears on our register for the caramel machiato, leaving out the second "a" with "machito".

In case you haven't figured it out yet, I work behind the counter at a Starbu cafe', although I work for another company called Tarjay. They right my shecks so I can pay my bills and poot fud on my taybull.