Child Savant I Was Not

I was watching a news clip that popped up on Yahoo today about a young boy who is a kind of math savant, who was talking briefly about some problems related to one of Einstein's equations (not E=mc square) and the propagation of light. Needless to say it went over his mother's head, but the boy seemed to understand what he was talking about. Maybe he will learn how to explain it in simpler terms.

I guess the point I want to make is how impressed we are when children are really good at something, like math or music. Even more so when there is a disability or disease in the background, like this kid I saw on Yahoo today who was born with Asperger's syndrome. My biggest question is really how well do these kids understand the subject they are talented at? I know when I was a kid I was interested in all kinds of things that were completely beyond me, except in my case I was usually wrong in my assertions about the world around me. I thought I might list them here:

1. The "dome" for a sky. When I was really little, like 5 or 6, I remember observing the sky and concluding that it was a dome that started from the ground (the horizon) and covered the Earth from end to end. The problem with this meant the earth would be cut in half, so whenever I saw a globe I couldn't reconcile my understanding with what the Earth was supposed to look like. I thought about that a little too much!
2. The color of countries. Again while studying the globe I initially associated each country (like Canada and USSR, yeah it was before the Union collapsed) with the colors they were illustrated in (like Pink and Green). I'm not sure I really believed the land there was colored that way, I just couldn't help but associate each country with the colors on my globe. This actually helped me remember most of the countries in the world before they taught about it in school (US states were more difficult because they were each a different color).
3. Black and white movies. Again with the colors, or lack of color, I began to associate specific eras in time with the colors used in the movies from those years. So life in the 70s was always technicolor, while the 80s were dark and grainy (crappy VHS) until the 90s introduced vibrant colors (just search You Tube for some of the TV ads from the early 90s, it was out of control style). I really believed for a while that the reality from the days my parents and grandparents were kids was living in black and white. How bland!
4. The Devil. I was too young and too curious to know about Satan, the Ultimate bad thing. Mostly I wanted to make sure I would always avoid the devil, so one night I asked my mom exactly where is the devil? Her answer was "The Devil is everywhere!" Her response will always resonate with me, it's so deep, but inappropriate for a kid because kids think literally. I remember being outside that night, and staring at the moon after she said this, thinking "the Devil is in the moon right now, and he sees me!". She couldn't have said something else like "the Devil is in a place you will never go because God loves you" or something sweet like that? I know she was just being honest with me, but I was only 5 or 6!
5. Black Chinese people. This one has to do with politically correct language. Again I was too young to understand (not that adults do a good job making sense out of things) our label for African-Americans, and thinking like a kid, this made me wonder if there were literally African-Chinese, like Chinese people who were black, but from China and not America. I didn't know about slaves being taken from Africa, or the origins of different cultures yet, and just thought that every country had "white" Americans and "black" African-American-Japanese, Chinese, Canadian or whatever people. Oops! Even now, does PC language make sense in any other country? If a black person is a citizen of China, does that society deem it proper to call them African-Chinese, or just Chinese, or something else? And what about the people from Africa who aren't black, would they be considered African-American?
6. Clouds crash into each other, causing thunder. OK, sadly I was in 4th grade before this idea was challenged. At least most of the other kids in my class thought the same way. Where I was raised we didn't have many thunderstorms any way, so why give it much thought? In case it isn't clear what causes thunder, lightning is hotter than the surface of the sun (like I got to learn about this stuff in school, I read about astronomy on my own time, but skipped over meteorology) and that snapping, crashing, booming sound is from vaporized air that was expanded in a flash, followed by many echoes across the land.
7. The question of "why?". This subject still applies to life today, but usually in a more practical approach like "Why do I work so hard for so little? Is this what I was meant to do in life?" In third grade I was staring outside my classroom after finishing some test early, so it was a quiet moment. Gazing deeply into the dark blue sky of another early morning in class, I began to ponder "why", as in "What am I doing here, why am I alive, in this class, at this time, staring at this strange blue sky? Why is the sky blue, why are there giant planets and other stars beyond the sky, what point does my life have and why does this all make me feel so empty inside?" Whoa, crazy deep thoughts for a kid, it was actually so much I became depressed by it. I was scared of feeling this way, and afraid I might not want to live, so naturally I shared these difficult thoughts with my mother a few days later. Instead of hearing something comforting, or being acknowledged for having a curiosity about the meaning of life, my mother (being typical as we've seen) overreacted, which freaked me out as well, by scorning me, suggesting that "I was suicidal, and that my thoughts were frightening" to her. She added " I must not think that way any more" and that she "didn't know what put those thoughts into my head" (mind control, now that's a concept to introduce to a kid like me at a time like that). That quickly put an end to that nonsense, for a while any way. At some point I probably considered thoughts like these were being slipped in by the Devil, if I followed her logic. I was a weird and nervous kid (now I'm a weird and nervous adult)!
   

Something I Hate

Besides inconsiderate people at work or on the roadways, something I really hate is when you get a new box of crackers, like Cheezits, and you find that more than half the box is made of burnt crackers! These must be the boxes that get filled towards the end of the shift, when the workers get lazy and let the final workload simmer a while longer than they should.

I'm thinking of writing a strongly worded letter to the makers of Cheezit (Wheat Thins are next!).

The Rude People

A rant is in order, but before I unfurl my specially honed words at the general public, I offer this non sequitur. When I was a young teenager, an awesome cartoon show appeared on Cartoon Network called "Space Ghost: Coast to Coast" and it was a late night comedy talk show setup, but they used the old Hannah Barbera (I guess all HB stuff is old) cartoon characters from Space Ghost. Today the minds behind this hilarious television are responsible for the ever more popular and outrageous TV segment "Adult Swim" also on Cartoon Network.

I was viewing some episodes from SGC2C on the Adult Swim website (sadly, there are no new episodes of Space Ghost that I know of) when I caught one of my favorites. Do you ever think of the Olsen Twins? Don't they look weird? I love this episode because the character Tad (Space Ghost's unlikely evil twin) mentions the Olsen Twins, that he doesn't like them because "they look like those awful Troll dolls". It's funny, but it's also true! I especially like this because I always thought the same thing before I ever saw this episode, so I'm glad somebody else agrees. That's it.

Now, the topic: customers at work. I have worked the same retail store for two years now, and I can no longer help but notice these particular traits amongst the general shopping public. Some people stand out more than others, but what dumbfounds me is the bad behavior or habits of most people in this public setting. It's just rude!

First, littering. The shopping cart that you borrow while you make the rounds is not a trash can. Who thinks it's OK to leave napkins, diapers, Starbucks cups, ICEE cups, and just trash in the cart when you're done with it? Some carts become selected as dumpsters, they just sit in the corral for days or weeks filling up with trash. Who do you think is responsible for cart cleanliness, the employees? They aren't, it's you, litter bug. Because in five minutes some sucker will come after you're finished to use that cart, only they'll need to pick another one because you can't be bothered to throw away a cup! The employees are too busy putting the carts away for you, answering your questions, taking your payments, etc. to pick up after you.

This continues with cart replacement, or returning the cart to it's place in line. We keep the carts lined up for easy access and convenience, so why is it OK to just randomly abandon the cart where you last stood before leaving the store? And it's contagious, people won't return carts to the orderly lines because it takes 10 seconds longer than "hey let's leave this here where there are 6 other carts abandoned in front of the exit door". Do you enjoy weaving in and out of carts on your way out the door? And what about the people behind you who need to take their cart outside, don't they exist too? This one is just pure lazy, and inconsiderate.

I get to see parents with their fussy, nasty little children, and I can tell they are not focused on anything else. Multiply this by a dozen, and that's the average customer in our store. But I can't accept distractions as an excuse to be rude and inconsiderate. What lesson do you teach your kids by littering where you find it convenient, and being lazy about putting away what you borrow so that the person behind you can move along?

Again I suspect our spoiled culture expects some unspoken service to come along and sweep up behind them. The reality is when you disrespect the folks who work in the public they begin to resent you, and your quality of service will suffer. We are constantly struggling to keep up with the mess people leave at work, and we are always oriented in customer service, but that must be a two way exchange. Help your self by not helping yourself to whatever you like, but be mindful of your impact on other people who are working and shopping around you.

We have these machines on the checklanes for reading credit cards, and they're terrible. They use touch screen buttons that only work when they want to, and they require too many confusing steps before anything gets transacted. But keep in mind, I am not the technical repair chief, I don't have any training in card reader repair and functions. People always look at me like I can do something to "make the machine go", and it seems like nobody ever learns this. It's like entering a modern store for the first time dozens of times a day, every day for most people. I don't get it, snap out of your daze folks!

Back to carts, when somebody finally does get a chance to return the carts to orderly lines, please do not step in-between the carts being moved and the front of the line they are moving to! I see this all day, people walk in, ignore you, and pass right in front of your objective without a second look. I've determined this is another huge time saver for people, because walking around 8 or 9 feet the other way is a costly detour. Better to take the shortest route possible, no matter what's happening. But if I don't look out for you, I very well could squish you in-between two rows of carts.

Does it make sense, would you go walking under a row of ladders? Forget bad luck, if a ladder collapses, you will get crushed. If you weave in and out of the ladders, you could tip them over. So it's better to walk around them from a distance, and it's the same for the carts.

This continues outside in the parking lot as well. Everyone is in such a hurry, everyone has such important business to attend to, so every second saved must lead to successful completion of each task. That must be why people risk their lives and vehicles by speeding down the aisles and cutting diagonally across seemingly empty spaces. What confounds me is the speed at which people exit the parking lot, since they probably zig zagged across coming in to the store, and now they speed straight out without looking for the next zig zagger. I'm surprised no one has been hurt or wrecked yet, at least I haven't seen it.

If there was ever a stop sign to always stop for, it would be the one at the main entrance where pedestrian traffic is highest. I especially enjoy the driver who only inches towards me as I walk across, it's like saying "I'm not going to punch you in the face, but I will raise my fist and aim it at you". What if I stop, trip, or you miss the brake and hit the gas? What point does it serve to drift into the crosswalk without stopping, even if someone is already in the crosswalk? If it were up to me these drivers would have no license. It's not just rude at this point, it's dangerous.

The general mentality of the public seems to be "faster, less attention to detail, more convenient, less time" and yet the opposite becomes true. If you try and outpace yourself at a task you are familiar with, it becomes less familiar and harder to sustain. Like typing, I can only go so fast, and that's good enough. At some point it becomes irresponsible, you can't walk over and ignore people because they might slow you down. These rude people shouldn't be surprised at how messy things can become after they've spent a couple of weeks, months, and years being in a constant hurry.

Slow the hell down, and then get out of my way!

Radiohead

Best band ever. Move over Beatles!

I could just end there, but I'm serious. Every song is memorable, each one captures a time in my life when all I could do was listen to Radiohead and dream up music videos in my head. The best news is that Radiohead continues to deliver, as the latest video "Lotus Flower" has the internet's attention. Here we see Thom Yorke dancing/quivering/looking homeless (also looking a lot like Adrian Brodie) and I can't help dig the whole thing. It makes me laugh and it strikes me impressed at the same time.

While it's a choreographed dance, I can't help but feel like Thom improvised his moves. I can see people behind the scenes "OK Thom, let's begin with a classical ballet and...oh, what are you doing?" and someone else says "No no, it's alright. Let him get into it, Thom's a genius!"

Many Radiohead songs sound alike, but they are each emotive in their own way. Some are eery, some dreamy, some funny, and quite a few (of my favorites) are so sad you must cry. I'm always amazed by the variety of sound they come up with. Sometimes we have good dance beats (well I don't dance but if I did) sprinkled with funky guitar and Thom's sly lyrics, or a slow haunting piano melody.

I don't usually promote the bands or music I listen to, so I'll stop here, but I've been rediscovering Radiohead lately so I'm damn glad they still produce music.

Hold On, I'm Sick This Week

My video making got put on hold this week. First I couldn't find WMM on Windows 7, so I had to download it. I haven't used it yet, I hope it will be simple to learn. Then I caught some cold on Monday, and as I type this I am feeling warm and relaxed as nighttime cold medicine takes hold. I missed work yesterday, on account of my fever, but today I didn't have a temperature so I worked any way. It may have been better for me to skip today too, although I can't afford to lose any more hours, because tonight my temperature rose up to 99.7.

I hate how colds catch you by surprise, when you are sleeping they give you funny dreams. Monday night I felt ok before bed, but then I was haunted all night by repetitive thoughts. One of them had me believe I was chopping away blocks in Minecraft, I could see the same 3 blocks behind my eyes. Those blocks went on forever, and I could feel my temperature rising. The other theme I couldn't stop thinking of was politician Ron Paul, and whether or not he would run for President next year. I think I was arguing with imaginary people about why we need to support Ron Paul. It's funny, since I wanted to discuss this in my video. I guess I'm more excited about Ron Paul than I knew!

I have to say, being drowsy feels nice. A small glass of wine helps too, just don't drink too much because it can be dehydrating. I'll be asleep soon, so I'll stop. I'm still eager to post my video, so I can't wait to feel better.

Excuses, When Enough is Enough!

Allllllllllllright let me say it feels like I've been holding my breath and typing now feels like sweet release!

I've been avoiding posting videos and ignored my blog here for a good year plus change now, and you should know that I've done the same with piano-I haven't played or created anything I could share for just as long. Now I hate watching a video where the person hasn't posted in a while and then they must explain themselves to the subscribers, I take this as a bad sign that the person probably won't be posting any more after the apologies and excuses are offered. Not only that, but what if I'm a new viewer and wasn't aware that this person left for a while? Then it wouldn't matter to me when they last posted something, and it really isn't important if they do actually continue posting stuff regularly (like more than once a year!).

However, I do see it as an obstacle to not explain your absence when deciding to post something new. At least in part a video full of excuses offers the viewers an update into what the person was doing all that time. Presumably they weren't busy filming and editing their latest video! But I am full of guilt, simply because I've lost touch with and had little to no communication between so many of my favorite people, as if the lines went down. So I can't ignore that I feel this way, and since I want to try posting again, I have to clear this now so that my next video isn't filled with "what's new is that nothing's new" which is a lie! Everything's new, all the time.

Stuffs happened, much of it worth talking about, but what I'll be doing in this video isn't a summary of that. I need to talk about what I've been doing this week, so it's recent. Besides, restoring the lines between friends (if they are still around) will take its own time, and I believe it's necessary to restore some trust that I will keep on posting more often before some people will take notice. I'm motivated to do this because I miss people, I never cared about having a large number of subscribers. A general apology to the public isn't very personal and I like having an intimate audience I can open up to.

But if I were going to post a video full of excuses, they would be as follows:

Guilt. An overwhelming sense that I've abandoned and disappointed the people who used to support and inspire me, so showing my face now or any time in the future would result in their withdrawal and disapproval of me, a silly idea yes?

Work schedule. For example, I worked 5 to 9 PM tonight, and tomorrow I have to roll in there bright eyed and bushy tailed by 12 noon. Messes my sleep schedule all up, plus I spend the spare hours I have indulging in my favorite obsession, video games. Would any body care to know what I've been playing at odd hours of the day, for months on end now? I know, somebody would, as long as I was posting again, it might be OK.

IRL people. I began posting to You Tube while I was still living at home with my parents, and I wasn't social at all. So YT became my human contact until I moved out and met IRL people. Initially I couldn't wait to share every day with YT, but somehow this seemed overwhelming and not very interesting to me. At work IRL people would still be there whether I wanted to see them or not, and the contrast between the people I want to meet and see more of (that's you Internet) and the IRL folks who get to see me every day really makes me sad! But now many of those IRL people I used to work with have moved on, and I've realized it takes more effort to stay in touch with the ones you miss. In general, just taking for granted the idea that people will always be where you expect them. I better reach out now and say "Hey, are you still there? I'm here!"

Inspiration. I'm either unable to find anything interesting to say in a video, or not feeling up to the challenge of posting something that doesn't need to say much if anything at all. I never did feel like I was any good at filming and editing movies, and I don't have very much in the way of portable video.

WMM. I have a new computer now, but I remember how awful windows movie maker was. I haven't even looked into the latest version, but I'm about to find out! I think this is the best excuse I have, for sure.

So that's about that. I'll be using this blog as a support for my videos, to flesh out the ideas I want to express and so I know what I'm talking about first. On that point, I guess I have another excuse: talking to a camera without any idea what you should be saying. Yet I've always wanted to be real and candid, but I never felt totally comfortable talking at the webcam.

Douche On, Douche Off

Just an observation.

Douchebags are popular, and not all popular people are douchebags (but given the number of douches, most are).

I know this because (pick one):

A) I work with a...
B) I live with a...
C) I am myself a...
D) I regularly use a...

douchebag.